I might as well tell you now because you'll find out eventually and then you'll stop coming here, so I might as well make it quicker for you.

So, I’m married to Zac Efron a certain early-20s nouveau célébrité who is very cute a very fine actor.

So, IMAGINE my surprise when my boyfriend (Zac my husband doesn’t know, shh) tried to insist that he’s ACTUALLY a person. Crazy, right?

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT IS THAT SMELL.

Okayyyy. Carrying on.

He was like, “Christ help me if the two of you are ever in a room together.” and I was like “Christ help him =D” and he was all “*facepalm*” and he was like “That would be cheating.” and I was like “No, cuz hes on my list.” and he’s like “List?” and I was like “Yeah. You know, the list. The celebrities I would sleep with and you would give me a carte blanche. Everyone has a list.” and then he starts thinking about who he would put on his list and he said the checker with the cute butt at Target and I said “REAL PEOPLE NOT ALLOWED.” and then he’s like “Celebrities are real people!” and I was like “Um, or not.” and he’s like “Dude, they’re human.” and i was like “UM, YOU THINK SO but in ACTUALITY, they are CELEBRITIES.” and he’s all “That doesn’t even make sense.” and then I was like “See? My point exactly.”

Anyway, where was I? Oh, right. Zac Efron is hot.

Updated: Dudes, I’m not even kidding,  something reeks out there.

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