I might as well tell you now because you'll find out eventually and then you'll stop coming here, so I might as well make it quicker for you.

So, I’m married to Zac Efron a certain early-20s nouveau célébrité who is very cute a very fine actor.

So, IMAGINE my surprise when my boyfriend (Zac my husband doesn’t know, shh) tried to insist that he’s ACTUALLY a person. Crazy, right?

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT IS THAT SMELL.

Okayyyy. Carrying on.

He was like, “Christ help me if the two of you are ever in a room together.” and I was like “Christ help him =D” and he was all “*facepalm*” and he was like “That would be cheating.” and I was like “No, cuz hes on my list.” and he’s like “List?” and I was like “Yeah. You know, the list. The celebrities I would sleep with and you would give me a carte blanche. Everyone has a list.” and then he starts thinking about who he would put on his list and he said the checker with the cute butt at Target and I said “REAL PEOPLE NOT ALLOWED.” and then he’s like “Celebrities are real people!” and I was like “Um, or not.” and he’s like “Dude, they’re human.” and i was like “UM, YOU THINK SO but in ACTUALITY, they are CELEBRITIES.” and he’s all “That doesn’t even make sense.” and then I was like “See? My point exactly.”

Anyway, where was I? Oh, right. Zac Efron is hot.

Updated: Dudes, I’m not even kidding,  something reeks out there.

Just because you read it in a magazine / Or see it on the TV screen / Don't make it factual

Michael Joseph Jackson 08/28/1958 – 06/25/2009

Michael Jackson.

What can you say? He’s arguably the most well-known person in the world. Who hasn’t heard his name, hasn’t heard at least one of his songs, doesn’t know his life story?

“It was hard to love him, but hard not to.” – Larry King

That sums up my feelings perfectly. I loved him as a kid. The Good Years. Bad and Thriller and Dangerous and HIStory. I can sit here and think of where I was when I listened to each of those albums, the first time I got them, watching his videos (remember “Black or White?” on VH1 during the summers.

On one hand, it was a complete surprise. He’s only 50. He was working on a comeback tour. But on the other hand – rumors that he was unwell, the scandals that seemed to follow him everywhere.

I’m sort of discombobulated. But here’s how I feel (and it’s my blog, so nyah.): I’m shocked. Stunned. I loved him. Yeah, maybe he did bad stuff, maybe he didn’t. I don’t care. I’ve always liked him, I’ve always been a fan, I’ve always been a supporter.

But the truth of it is that he was a legend. He will never make a new video. Never produce or release a new album. Never go on that comeback tour.

It’s sad, and I’m not ashamed to say I’ve teared up a bit, especially now that they’re playing “We Are the World” on CNN.  There’s so much I could say, but I don’t have the words right now.

Rest in Peace, Michael. You’re loved.

Hi guys, how's it going? It's like I've been gone for so—oh wait, never mind.

Just a quick PSA. Title of this blog will be changing to Le Blog de Sari because damn it, that’s what it is. This was  a slap bang thing that I threw together and obviously love so much. I will let you know when I make the jump to the new blog – I’m going full-speed, not just changing the title, because I’m an asshole that way – and when to update your links. Once you’ve done so, it should be the exact same, i.e. have all previous posts and comments. Layout will be different.

Carry on.

Update: Cripes, where did I learn to spell? Clown college? (Maybe I should ask Lelou.)

My Month in 402 Words or Less. And yes, I counted. Actually, that's a lie, because WordPress counts for me. Still, it's the thought that counts.

I was about to type something completely inappropriate and involving the N word here, but aren’t we glad I stopped me?

I haven’t “blogged” yet, even though I promised to immediately post-test because, well, quite frankly, I’m lazy. And I re-found Stuff White People Like, which, also quite frankly, is more interesting than you.

There, now that I got that off my chest. Well, well. What’s been up? (It’s like I’m talking to myself.)

Let’s do a list of completely unrelated things! Everyone loves those!

*June 1: Finally found an apartment, signed the lease and gave my landlord both my firstborn and secondborn for the deposit and first month’s rent. Wondering how many tricks I will have to turn to remain in my apartment more than a month. The Boy also moved. He is also turning tricks.

*June 4: Broke down and bough the Sims 3. Kept it in my car until…

*June 5: Friday, where I declared myself over-studied and took a break making Sims that looked like Death Note characters, celebrities and Boys I Like.

*June 6: Studied.

*June 7: Cried. Gave up studying. Started revamping my resume, after assuring myself  I would be fired the next day.

*June 8: Test day. Passed. Went home, played Sims 3.

*June 9 – 12: Scrambled to finish packing and moving over the small things. Did so. (Barely.)

*June 13: Big move day. We had the old place emptied, truck packed, truck driven to the new place and unloaded within 3.5 hours. My dad and I?  Ninja movers. It’s been proven.

*June 14: I ain’t did shit. Y’all, I was tired. I had a very stressful first-two-weeks of June.

*June 15 – now: Finished (mostly) unpacking, had a minor electricity catastrophe (wherein my apartment tried to kill me – news at 11!,) discovered vile, putrid, disgusting things known as “banana ice pops” and generally engaged in some all-around tomfoolery.

Pretty much, life is kicking ass right now. You can bet your pretty little asses I’m knocking on all sorts of wood right now. As I type. One, I’m superstitious and two, I’m talented.

Coming shortly: a post about the one year anniversary of the Flood. Yes, I know. Old news and annoying, but it was epic and important to me, so just freaking deal, alright? Geez. And a post about my epic (this is my word today) adventures frolicking through Craigslist.

Good things are happening! – Someday.

Still on semi-hiatus. Studying my butt off for my test, which is the 8th. After then, I WILL BE ALL OVER THIS SHIZNIT.

At least,  once I get bored of The Sims 3.

This post is the most boring boring that ever boringed, except maybe a post that says "I love cheese. The end." because that's pretty boring, in which case this is only the second most boring post ever. Aren't you lucky I rescued you from that?

I had this great post written in entirety this afternoon. Well, by entirety, I mean I had like, the first two sentences written. Maybe one sentence.

Anyway, it was great.

I’m constantly doing that. Writing blog posts, and other things, in my head. I have the inflection down, I know exactly what I’m going to italicize and everything. It’s freaking sweet.

Then I say, I should write this down. No, it’s okay. I’ll remember it!

Guess how many times I’ve actually remembered it.

So this is what you get instead.

I really should start carrying paper with me.

Tomorrow is Thursday, i.e. my Friday. I know I’m going to end up pulling out my jeans before I remember. I wish it really was Friday, but I’m okay with having to wear dress pants tomorrow because it’s supposed to be hot again and dress pants are much breezier than jeans. Wow, that was an awesome sentence.

And then on Friday? Totally sleeping in until like, 7. Whoa, look out. I’m a rebel.

Nothing too fancy about the weekend. I’m spending it studying, mostly. There’s a block party on Monday and I’ll probably do my usual: make three or four things, drop them off, eat food and leave. I’m not too terribly concerned with making nice with my neighbors.

Besides, the teenage kid on the corner might run me over with his car. Whippersnapper.

The post in which I speak random French just to prove how awesome I am. Should I add a "#nerdfighter" here?

Or, la chose que je parler l’autre jour, c’est que pendant que je suis tout à fait capable de lire et d’écrire en français, c’est le parler français, je ne peux pas tout comprendre. Je blâme mon accent.

That’s what she said.

For my usage of nerdfighter in this context, see here.

Occasionally, Lou and I will break out into French. Tonight is one of those occasions. This is okay for her because she IS French. My part of the conversation is full of ? after every ? word because ? I’m not quite ? sure if I’m using the ? right form of the word.?

Yeah, so I’m actually somewhat surprised she’s never slapped me.

Anymultilingual, here’s the part where I attempt to make myself feel better about myself (this is the point of this blog, after all):

I have a test June 8th. I need this test to get my designation for this series of classes I’ve been taking. I’d really like to take this test and pass it first try. Will it happen? Well, I’m kinda pessimistic about it, but.

I wanted to take a bath last night, but I was being a good Sari! I gathered my things and went to take a bath. Among my things I gathered was my packet from the first chapter so I could read while in the bathtub! Read my homework, not a book!

I’m so awesome! I know that’s what you’re thinking right now.

So, I fill the tub and go to get in. And slip a little. No worries, I’m safe! Oh wait, except there goes a big splash.

All over my packet.

Wonderful.

So, then I just chillaxed for about ten minutes and then got out and went back to my bedroom and vegged in front of the TV.

God, my life is so thrilling.

Update: Seriously? “free doughnut day at Krispy Kreme” is a related post? WTF?

I want to learn a new language but I'm sort of a mutt so there's not one language I have any particular attachment to, except maybe French because I have a lot of Belgian in me, which makes me sound like a waffle. Wtf?

My head hurts. If you were wondering.

So, here’s the truth: I forgot about posting last week. I know, I know, I suck. I’m going to blame my studying. I better pass this test the first time around because I’m really not in the mood to keep studying. Plus, Sims3 comes out June 2nd and I’m being good enough waiting til the 8th to buy it, thank you very much.

So, I bought a little desk for my bedroom. I wanted a little writing table where I could sit with my laptop, without having to be at my big desk. I bought it at Target and brought it home and got it in the house all by myself and put it together all by myself and I only stabbed myself in the finger a little bit with the screwdriver and it barely bled. I kick ass.

I’m going to go study now, but I will say this. Once my test is finis, I plan on moving back into the full-time blogging realm. May (your) god (of choice) have mercy on your souls.

But for now, you have three weeks to get far, far away from any internets. Save yourselves!

My window and blinds are open (except the part my cat is stuck in) and it's starting to thunder so if you never read this post it's because lightning came through the window and struck me dead before I could hit 'publish.'

I’m in a weird mood. Not weird good or weird bad, just…weird weird. I’m not in a bad mood, far from it. Not in a giddy or hyper mood. Just. Existing? But that sounds so…existential and emo. And I am the last thing from emo. In my opinion, anyway.

Omg. Am I emo and I don’t realize it? Can someone be unknowingly emo? Someone do research and let me know. I really don’t want to be emo. I don’t THINK I am. I have one friend in particular that I sort of have to smack around to un-emo her at times, but I tend to be pretty optimistic.

Well, that’s not true. Because I more or less think everything sucks and everyone else is stupid.

But I don’t wear black eyeliner. That has to count for something.

Well, I only don’t wear black eyeliner because I tend to look like the walking dead if I do. Which pisses me off because I used to rock the black liquid eyeliner all the time. But anymore, it makes my undereyes look bruised and they do that enough on their own, thanks.

Okay, seriously? What is the point of this post?

I suppose it fits the blog, anyway.

Yeah, it was a weird day.

In other words, I’m making strides on Sari 2.0! I will be the first to admit that I’m not the best at “reducing my carbon footprint” or whatever term the treehuggers are using now and “adm” is not an incorrect word, Firefox, you may want to read the rest of the word to see that it’s right. Ahem.

One step I took was looking at my Starbucks consumption weekly. I go, generally, four – five times a week. I’d say that’s average. Some weeks I go once, some weeks I go ten times. Depends on my mood, cash in hand, etc. So, we’re looking anywhere from five – ten plastic or paper cups a week.

I bought a new travel coffee mug. I had a Starbucks type one before (looks like the paper cups) and the lid broke. But it was my favorite, and I found a Starbucks that carried them still, so I bought one of those.

And then! I discovered last week that Starbucks now has cold-drink tumblers. Which are, in a word, awesome. So I bought one of those.

So, it may not be a huge step, but it’s something. And it’s better than nothing, which is what most people do. That was a bit soap boxish, but was not intended as such. I’m horrible at recycling, turning lights off, etc, so I’m not going to lecture anybody.

But it makes me feel better about myself and well, that’s what matters.

It’s just another step on the journey to Sari 2.0. I’ve already gotten rid of about 3/4s of what I own (and am constantly finding new stuff to get rid of and new ideas for organization.) I highly recommend this blog, not just for tips but for daily reads. Very nice.

I plan on starting to use the library more. After the flood, that came to a screeching halt, but there’s one not terribly out of my way, so I will start using that one – different town, but they’re all in the same “network” so I can get books shipped to any branch for easy pick up. It’s convenient and I plan to take advantage of it, because I need to stop spending money on books, stat.

The problem with blogging is it makes me lazy because I just sit down and blog instead of getting my stuff done.

So, if none of my plans for Sari 2.0 come to fruition? I’m blaming y’all.

This post is going to be very pausey because I'm making supper while I'm writing but you won't be able to tell because it's not like instant messaging, it's a blog post, idiot.

I got my hair cut today.

On one hand, this is a big deal. I haven’t cut it (more than a trim, anyway) in more than a year. It was about halfway down my upper arm. My hair sort of grows ridiculously fast. To the tune of about an inch a month, so if I want to keep it styled, I have to get a trim every three-four weeks. My stylist (ooh, I sound so posh) only charges me half as long as I come in every four weeks, but still – more than every eight weeks, like when I grow it out.

But I have so much hair. It gets so heavy. I pulled out my ponytail when I sat down and the stylist (not my normal girl, but I’ve had her before) was all “holy crap, you have a ton of hair.” By her estimate, by the time we got the ponytail cut for Locks of Love, it was about two-three pounds of hair.

Two to three pounds. Of hair. On my head.

People, this is a lot. And I should know better, because when my hair is long, I constantly get headaches. I’ve definitely had more headaches in the last few months than I have in a long time. Just sort of the name of the game. But I was tired of it.

I was watching Desperate Housewives last night (my favorite <3) and at Susan and Jackson‘s engagement party, Lynette showed up with a new hairstyle.

Best. Hair. Ever.

I immediately BBMd Ashy and Lou, best friends and hair gurus. I explained what I wanted. Not surprisingly, Ashy had had the same reaction I did. We tend to have the same hair sense. We’ve been this way for 13 years. I no longer question it.

So, long story semi-short, I chopped it. Up to my shoulders. Actually, the longest layer is just touching the crease of my neck. And I was anxious before I went in, but like old news (and like Ashy predicted,) I loved it the second I stood up. And when I stood up, I felt so much lighter, without all that hair.

And it’s super-styled, of course.

So, the moral of this whole post is today, I am even more kickassingly awesome than I normally am.

Don’t be scared. We’ll be back to normal tomorrow.

Update: It occurs to me that I never added something about “the other hand.” Clearly, my story is one-sided and biased. Oh well. Deal.

Updated Part Deux: True to form, my dad said “I thought you were getting your hair cut. It doesn’t look any different.”